How I almost burst my stitches

When I was in hospital with Baby Winnie, I couldn't hold both her and a book. Well I could HOLD a book; I just couldn't keep it open and actually READ.

So I spent a lot of time reading magazines. Very slowly because my concentration was shot.

This profile of of superstar artist Jeff Koons made me giggle far too hard. It alleges that when Jeff was wooing Ciccolina, an Italian parliamentarian and porn star, she didn't speak any English and his Italian extended to ordering dinner.

Instead of LEARNING Italian, he spoke English to her with an Italian accent.

Eventually, when that didn't really work, he got a translator to help but she had to be dismissed when she fell in love with Jeff.

And he reckons he was surprised when the marriage didn't last...